Post staff bridge progress

I worked for a few months in Adelaide then was offered a job in another city. I saw this as an opportunity to make a complete break from my old life and took the chance.   It was a full time job with a stable employer doing stuff I could actually start change and stop on, without mad demands, ridiculous schedules and the need to work another 15-20 hours a week to actually survive.  What a change from the insanity of working in an org. 
So with a reasonable income I was able to think about continuing up the bridge.  I paid for OT 5 at the Sydney AO and did this over two or three weeks. Nice being a public scio and just get sessionable and sit around waiting for a session all day while everyone else did the work.   I stayed in a nice hotel in Sydney,  good change from  bunking with other scios or staying in very poor accommodation either in SO quarters or the YMCA as I had to during my other Sydney trips while on staff.
NOTs didnt not do much for me.  Could not get the reality of handling the charge of others and blowing bts.  I did get through all the various rundowns though and wrote a nice success storey.  
Next stop Flag to get onto OT 6 and 7.
First trip I cruised through the study including all the basic books…. About two iterations before the current lot I think.  It was seen to be important to get a good education in Scientology, so we had to starrrate all the basics including dianetics.    Got through that.  Had a difficult time on my eligibility due to my GO background.   I had to petition IJC to get on.  I had left my csw with some terminal at Flag what was hopeless and really seemed to have no intention of handling my cycle. After about 7 weeks at Flag I had to go home without getting onto the confidential part of the course.
After 6 months I returned to Flag.  Again I had great difficulty getting onto the level due to my elig. I was prepared to give up on it and was going to do the KTL course instead.  When I was resigned to this, the CSs took pity on me and decided to let me on the level seeing I had come all the way from Oz. So I managed to start on the confidential part of the OT 6 course.  Got through this without much of a worry except for fear and trepidation on em drills 22 and 25.    
Did some auditing on the base and was allowed to go home.
First 6 months auditing was terrible.  Got really badly keyed in.  Was not having wins at all and feeling terrible most of the time.   Sort of stabilised a bit and went back for my first 6-mo check.  This went along ok was told to go onto a different procedure and I went home  feeling bit more stable and chugging along through the level auditing each day, getting the minimum 5 hours per weeks most times. 
This cycle continued for about 8 years.   I did not go back to flag every 6 months mostly due to finances and my reluctance to experience that environment any more than I had to.  The best part about any trip to flag was always arriving at the Tampa airport on the way home.   The most dreaded was actually arriving at Tampa..

During this time the IAS got much more aggressive with its regging.  I had many phone calls particularly from Howard Becker. Eventually over several years I ended up donating around $30k. This was mainly under the pretense of handling Germany, then France, then Spain, then the psyches in the US and so on ad infinitum.  In the end I was able to resist giving more money to Howard and even was able to hang up on him a few times, but felt that I would have to handle this in session.

Another really dodgy cycle during this time invoved me purchasing the auditing bridge Clear for my wife.  SO regges visited home and promised faithfully that they would have an auditor from NZ organised to come to our home (well away from the capital city) almost immediately and deliverthe auditing.   Well, we dutifully paid over the money, about $15k and nothing happened.  No NZ auditor was arranged. Finally after several months the senior CS from the Adelaide Org came down for  week to deliver ARC Straightwire.  I had to pay for his lodgings in the caravan park.   That was the sum of the delivery provided from this cycle.  Some further auditing was provided in Adelaide, but the auditor, Jason Painter got declared shortly after this, and consequently the org ad no tech terminal at all.  The perpetual auditor and CS in training Tony Milligan and Carole Robbins would be returning any time soon to do the delivery tho.  I think to this day neither has gotten onto post at Adelaide Org.  Tony may have done some delivery, but I dont think he lasted long on post.  I do not know what happened to Carole.  She was on her training cycle for many many years.  It has taken longer to train her as a CS than to make a psychiatrist.  A sad indictment of the current system. 

Back to the OT 7 cycle for me and my dislike of the 6 monthly check an training cycles I was supposed to do, I remember going through immigration at LA airport once and the customs man asked me what I was doing in the states.  I said I was there for a holiday and to visit some friends.  He said that I looked like I was going to prison.  Perceptive fellow. 
I got onto OT 7 in about 1990 and went through to 1998.  In the meantime I had the new nots rundowns.   They were mildly interesting.   Without ever being mind-blowing as I expected.  My entire auditing experience was one of unmet expectations and disappointments after reading all the success stories and hype. 
Nevertheless I kept at it thinking that one day I was attain that breakthrough and eventually reach the goal of OT. 
GAT was released in the late nineties and I was still auditing with the benefit on non-GAT training.  While they persevered with me for some time, a year or so, eventually I was taken off the level as I had to get retrained.   So I was required to return and redo all my training.
I went back in about 98 to do the first part of part a which included all the meter drills and practicals. 
There was a strong push to get people through and a recognition that emeter drills 22 and 25 could be a real slow on getting completions.  Especially seeing they had to be done three times through.  There were several students who had pretty good needles and these people were rolled out when students couldn’t get any sort of read on their twins.  I got some nice twins to help me through these drills who actually read on the commands etc. 
So I finished the first half of the course and went home for a while.  Then came back to do all the theory.  During these trips I didn’t have any auditing so didn’t have to endure eligibility and the nerve wracking leaving the base sec check. 
I had an eventful trip in 1997 the year my father died.  I was at Flag when I was told that dad had become very sick and had been diagnosed with lung cancer.  I wanted to get home, but I had a very difficult job convincing the powers that be that I ought to be able to leave.  I was prepared to blow, but got some assistance from my D of P at the time (Peter Buttery?)and a friendly MAA who managed on my behalf to convince the CSs that I should be able to go.  They let me. I was prepared to leave off the level as I had not completed my elig etc. However as I was a good chap they let me continue on the level too. 
My second trip to Flag to do the new GAT training consisted of lots of drills with the machine which produced various meter reads.  I actually quite liked going through these drills and did feel I got a lot of certainty, though I really disliked the rote learning and could not reconcile this with earlier LRH data on study when he emphasised understanding over memorisation. 
The biggest hurdle on that course was learning all the laws of listing and nulling, which I finally managed after a few days of drilling.  Did make a slight hesitation but my twin passed me anyway.  
My next cycle  was to get onto the confidential section and get back on the level.   I saved up for some time to get the intensives I needed for eligibility.  I was assured I needed two intensives which  I saved for and paid over about an 18 month period.  I returned to Flag in 2000 to get onto part B.
When I got to Flag I got a tech estimate and was told I would need two or three more intensives to get onto the level.   I was really annoyed at this as there was no way I could get the money together.  Aussie dollar was worth about 60c US and intensives were about $15K Aus.  So I would need $30 -$40K  to get onto the level.  
I decided that I would go home as there was no way I could get the money.  I was not going into more debt and I was not going to spend saved money I had managed to salt away for other purposes.
I was taken into session to do various correction actions and lists as just part of a routine handling.  These did not go well.   I did not like the new GAT style of auditing which seemed very rote to me.  
Even though I had decided to go home, I kept getting various auditing actions which I did not need or want and I was prevented from leaving.   I was getting very fed up with being promised that after just this next action I would be able to go home. 
After one session I was given some sort of clear check and it was determined that I had not really gone clear and that I would have to start on my dianetics again.  
Last time I did dianetics back in about 1979 I got really badly keyed in and I was not keen at all on doing this.  I ran a narrative r3r session on my dad’s death not going past life and managed to get through this without too much restim.  But I was not at all happy with continuing on with dns.  I wrote a long csw asking for my folders to be reviewed by RTC and for the current action to be stopped until this could be checked.  I was naïve enough at the time to think that RTC would be able to determine if the correct action had been diagnosed for me.  It would also buy me some time and allow me to return home.
Well this didn’t go down well and I was sent off to ethics to do some pts handling.  
Really unhappy about this outcome and there seemed no way out. 
I decided to just get out, and the following day I booked my tickets and left. 
I thought I would be declared.  I still intended to get the money together and come back at some stage, though I thought that my blowing would reflect badly on me and that I might have a few more things to do. 
This turned out to be true, but I didn’t get declared.  I was required to do the PTS SP course and ethic specialist course and show some contribution before I could go back.
I bought these courses at the Adelaide org and did start them doing a little study on my holidays.  I completed a retread of the student hat, GAT style with more rote learning etc.   Got through that and then onto the PTS S P course.   I spent a few holidays on that but with less and less enthusiasm. 

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